I was reminded yesterday just how much I love my children. It amazes me the depth and strength of the love that God puts in the heart of parents for their children, and yet to know that is but a small sample of His love for us. My son made a mistake that briefly put him in danger and scared the daylights out of several people, his father and I included. I should have been angry with him but the anger just wasn't there. All I could think of was how much I loved him and wanted him to be safe. I remembered the bone-headed things I did when I was his age (and there were many during that "temporarily insane" period that I think lasts from age 13 to at least age 21). I wanted to gather him and his sister onto my lap like I did when they were little and wrap my arms around them...except they are now both taller and stronger than me and it would be more comical than sentimental.

Both of my children have been beautiful surprises to me, in different ways. I thought of Jessica recently when I was admiring a beautiful piece of jewelry. I asked the shopkeeper about the stone and she told me a name I had never heard before; it was a rare semi-precious jewel. I could hardly take my eyes off of it. It seemed to hold all the colors of the ocean, changing subtly as I turned it in the light. That is how Jessica has seemed to me. She is startlingly beautiful, not fitting any mold or predictable set of characteristics. She has been a driving force in my life, especially in years past when I battled with depression and feeling like I was facing a brick wall trying to change myself. As I observed my strong, spirited yet vulnerable daughter, I realized how important it was that she have a strong mother -- she needed and deserved one -- and that motivated me to push on through. She continues to motivate me in words unspoken, and she's given both Mark and I delight and joy.

James is my kindred spirit, and yet very much his own person. Every mother says this, but I certainly have never seen a cuter child than my James as a little boy. He totally captured my heart; I adored him then and I adore him now. I wish for his sake that he was not so much like me, because I see him fighting many of the same battles I fought at his age, and I want to somehow sovereignly sweep in and rescue him from it all. But I know I need to let him walk that path with God, to "taste and see that He is good," to rejoice in His faithfulness. James is witty, insightful, and tenderhearted. He is one of my best friends - although I know parents are not really supposed to be "friends" with their children - I just enjoy hanging out with him. He is a treasure to me.